Dreams Becoming Reality

My life has had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of excitements, and a lot of let downs, I have completed so many things, I have failed at a lot, I have persevered and I have given up.  I have dreamt then released that dream, and I’ve held onto dreams for years.

When I was 9 years old I joined karate, it was an instant love, it was exactly what my mind and body needed. I went to karate 3-5 days a week, went to tournaments, and grew in the discipline and family of martial arts.  Due to circumstances I had to leave karate, but it never left my heart.  I told people about it every opportunity that I could. I shared the love for karate to anyone who was interested, and willing to hear me drag on about the details, jump from my chair to demonstrate moves, and teach some basics to whoever was willing to learn.

I promised myself that one day I would finish my dream and become a Black Belt in the Shotokan Karate family. I searched and searched for my teacher, my Sensei and his wife Louise.  I had given up many times thinking it would be impossible after all these years to find them. Convincing myself that even if I did find them, there would be no way they would ever remember me, that this dream was going to only stay that way, a dream.

I decided to keep searching, I began to use the internet and search, I searched and searched and got excited over a lead and was disappointed when it was a dead end.  Then one day the impossible happened, I found Louise on Facebook. There she was, stunned I just stared at the screen. This can’t be true I thought to myself, this is a dream. It wasn’t though, it was real.  I didn’t know if there was an inclining if she would remember me, so with shaking hands, and a deep breath I started writing.

It wasn’t more then an hour later I get a reply, pure excitement, she remembered me! Through her I find out Sensei is still teaching karate and through the next many months we kept writing until it finally came where I was in the area and could go see them in person.  The reunion was splendid, through that visit we caught up on life, the last many years of zero communication. Then comes the conversation of Karate. After talking about that for a couple hours but feeling like it was only a few minutes. Sensei said to me, “Sarina when are you going to test for your Black Belt?”  I laugh that awkward laugh, gee wow way to put a dream I had let go of come to the forefront of my brain? It was then and there I decided I was going to take that dream dust it off the shelf in my brain and I was going to make that dream happen.

the First time I was able to step foot in that dojo again till today has been 5 years. 5 Years of training off and on, 5 years of asking to borrow vehicles from friends to drive to class when I was in the area. 5 years of  taking in everything that I could in order to go home, practise, and refresh my brain from what I knew all those years ago, 5 years of asking for help in certain things to go further in my training, and even going to YouTube to remember and learn new katas.

Yesterday I stood in the Dojo, stood in front of 7 amazing black belts, stood in front of Sensei and Louise, and stood beside the karate family on the floor.  I stood there shaking thinking in my head, “why am I here, I haven’t been able to go to the dojo and practise three days a week, maybe this is a silly goal.” then the other part of my brain was thinking “Sarina you are doing that stinkin’ thinkin’ and it needs to stop. I took a deep breath convinced myself I can do it, and thought, even if I fail, I showed up, I gave it my all, and I will walk away having learned so much”

putting my shoulder back, my arms nice and strong and head up and confident, I performed what I was asked to with strength, power, and control. I made many mistakes, however I kept going, took the critiques and never once gave up, reminding myself this is a dream I created since I was 9 years old.

When my Name was called and I walked forward, kneeled down with my Sensei and received the black belt he had in his hands ready to present me. I thought to myself “I did it, I really did it, I made this dream a reality, I made this dream happen, I accomplished not only to myself, but to everyone who was walking this journey with me.” I took off my old belt, and put the new belt around me, tied it up, and just let the surrounding feeling engulf me. Getting my Black Belt in the Shotokan Karate would never feel right it but receiving this belt from Sensei’s hands to mine felt right, it felt perfect, it felt happy, from  Looking up to my Sensei, with a smile that could not be contained, I noticed  he was tearing up, he was so proud of me too. I stood up looked over to my Louise, and seeing that she had also started crying, that was it,  the pure joy, self proudness, and accomplishment could not be contained anymore.

I DID IT.

A dream that had many hurdles, Faith that it will one day happen, belief that I can accomplish it, the action, perseverance, patience and time became reality.

Thank you Sensei and Louise for everything you do. Thank you for walking beside me through all these ye